After quitting her stressful job, Victoria Harper left her husband and teen sons behind to spend a summer alone in Portugal. The Executive Editor of The Independent and UK Chair for Inspiring Girls – one of Club Avandra’s chosen charities – says it was the best decision she ever made.
‘My summer of being 21 again changed the course of my life.’
I tell people that the summer of 2023 helped me to remember who I was again. It was like meeting myself at 21. For the first time in years I was in my happy place, I slept brilliantly and I felt totally free.
I had left my extremely stressful job as a national newspaper executive in London where I’d worked for seven years and wasn’t sure what the next phase of my life looked like.
A couple of years earlier my Portuguese husband and I had made a crazy investment – we bought a building site of a property in the very traditional neighbourhood of Graca, Lisbon.
I decided on a whim that I wanted to spend the entire summer there on my own. My eldest was off travelling, my youngest had just finished his GCSEs and for the first time in 20 years no-one needed me around to cook their bloody tea. I just told my husband: ‘I’m moving to Portugal for the summer!’
I got on a flight and suddenly thought – I haven’t got anyone telling me what to do! And instead of feeling nervous at being alone for six weeks and not really knowing anyone, it was like finally being able to breathe out. Just liberating.
I took along this little card that I’d made after seeing a work coach who had been helping me figure out my future. On it were three columns with the words: Not Acceptable, Acceptable, Dream. Underneath each I had written goals I wanted to achieve, or situations I didn’t want to return to.
Then I just stopped worrying and got on with my days, filling my mornings with language school to improve my Portuguese, then visiting new and different part of the city in the afternoons. Every Wednesday there was a social event after college. I would chat to people in cafes, museums, restaurants, gradually becoming part of the patchwork of the community. I learned to use the tube instead of taking the trams: ‘They’re for tourists!’, I was told.
My amazing sister-in-law Nina flew over during the summer and they were happy, happy days. She had been told the breast cancer she’d been diagnosed with at the age of 36, had returned. Her doctor gave her permission to come over, and I felt I got to know her deeply. I’ll be forever grateful for these memories as she died the following year aged just 42.
Without trying, magical things started to happen over the course of my stay.
Out of the blue, I got a call asking if I was interested in becoming the UK Chair for the charity Inspiring Girls. Next thing, I was on a Zoom call with the founder Miriam Gonzalez Durantez. The charity now helps girls in 33 countries to achieve their dreams. It exactly aligned with what I’d written beneath my Dream column: ‘Do something with purpose’. I ticked it off my little card.
Then The Independent – a news organisation that again completely chimes with my values – got in touch, with a fantastic job opportunity that offered balance and flexibility. Another major dream ticked off my list.
It was incredible as I wasn’t chasing anything. I’d steered completely clear of LinkedIn, didn’t once watch TV and lost myself in reading books.
Changing horizons completely shifted my perspective. The gift of travel brought me energy and that summer ultimately changed the course of my life. Magical things happened by simply taking a pause for myself and walking through a different door.
For more information on Inspiring Girls click here.